I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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