the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Randomize
