i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
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