so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize