it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Randomize
