The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
