THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
