Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize
