you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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