we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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