what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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