I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
