Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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