Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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