I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
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