I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
