I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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