also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Bring me that man meat
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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