I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
