Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize