i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
