Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize
