i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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