she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Randomize
