on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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