do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
