i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
