ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
it's like iHOP with fire
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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