Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
