She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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