I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Randomize
