True but thats because hes a fetus.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID