And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I am spending my child support on dildos
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season