yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
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