nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
