if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Go christen that room with your naked body.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
