Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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