It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
