Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize