I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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