He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Randomize
