you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
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