Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
