do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
