overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
