For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Randomize
