All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Holy shit dude........stairs
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
