I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
