I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
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