Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize