you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
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