so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
