Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
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