he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
