i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize
