i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's great music for shaving your balls
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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