He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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