WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Randomize
