i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
