I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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