no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
He? As in you personified your dick?
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
