ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
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