singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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