I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize
