You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
